"Life Goes on" for forgivenbabe

well ya...life just have to go on =)...no matter how much i miss raymond right now.
I'm still trying my best to get as many pictures to put it into a DVD form.

I'm still alright physhically and emotionally ...although sometimes i still have little dissapointed in recent things. I'll be starting the photobook again by Saturday night. I cant wait for my younger sister to come back home..to have a clearance in my room...it has been messy for ages now >.< so much photos!!!~ i shouldnt have print so many of them the last time. I'm just a photo person. I learnt a lesson..just print a few best shots. =) for memory the rest leave as soft copy =P.

I have plans with friends on march. In the middle of march...seems to have a lot of things at hand that i want to do. It is if our Lord allows me to do what I have planned...I'll be glad to do it =).

I cant wait to meet up with Joy and Shanie. I havent met them in ages. I was like 5-6 years back. Oops i just sound so old now. =P just remb the college years @ TARC and the memories...
back in CF.

There are so many places that i planned to travel on my own...with anybody at all...

(1) Sabah & Sarawak
(2) Brunei
(3) Korea
(4) Pulau Redang / Perhentian

want to do:
(1) bugee jumping >.< (anyone want to come along)


i'll be happy if there are friends planning to go as well...in few years time...not this year...just too pack with things...i've taken too many days off =p

Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life

What i shared last Friday...wake service (5th feb 2010)

We're only 10 months together, until sickness strike. We're only 2 weeks engaged, 3rd week. Raymond had to ask me to remove our ring from his finger. 14th feb 2010 will be our 1st year courting.

He was a person with little words to many, but to me he has so much to share. We share about almost everything under the sun. From work, family and church activities and doctrines. I remembered those times we needed to talk so many hours over the phone. So many smses we send to each other that in your 1st month together, our mobile bill increased and we needed to change our phone plan. (me as a sub-line)

Like my eldest sis say in her blog, Raymond was a man after God's heart. Although he do have his human weaknesses. Having a chance to know him and have a closer relationship with him for 10 months was indeed blessings from God.

Although both me and Raymond do have many ups and downs, tears and sometimes conflicts (conflicting ideas) but we everytime will settle it by sharing it out and praying everynight before we go to bed.

I'm very glad that we had chances to learn the word of God together over the phone. It was indeed encouraging to learn with one another especially when our prayers were answered. (when we pray for something)

There was one time in our 4th month, I began to feel tired talking over the phone, started complaining, not knowing that he is leaving so soon. But Raymond insist that we must at least pray before we slept. Every morning he'll wake me up for prayers. Sometimes he'll share a verse or two before we head off for work. This was how firm he was and it encourages me now.

Our theme verse for our relationship Psalms 118:8
" It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man".

The song that God showed me that he is the one (drawed us closer)
"Burdens are lifted at calvary"

One of his favourite hymns. (he has also love other hymns, this is one of his fav)
"It is well, with my soul"

I'll miss those times we sung hymns and praises over the phone. We grew even more to the extend that we only listen to christian songs and music when we're courting. (we learn from I kissed dating goodbye, Boy meets girl by Joshua Harris). I could say we do not have any pop song favourites, that i could recall now. It was indeed a blessing to know someone who has the same mind for the lord.

You all might have thought about how much I could withstand and be by his side. I had fears as well, when i accompanied him in the hospital.

"prefect love of God just cast out the fear and gave me JOY."

Initially I couldn't take it, I'm full of dissapointment, fearing that he'll leave. I questined, why God?

God gave me the answer,

1 Cor 2:9

"But it is written:
Eyes has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared
for those who love him."

God also gave me the assurance that "nothing is too hard for the Lord". that was how personal the encounter was with our Lord.

As days passes, Raymond's condition weakens, my faith on God's healing hand was still there. I'm still clinging to God's miracle at the same time, thinking that God might take him home.

I do not know why God decided to take Raymond home. Especially when there are so many things that we planned to do together. That I'll just leave to father God. Raymond & I love the Lord. God will and is a faithful God until the end. Now I realised God had been moving in our lives and speaking through His word past 10 months.

Dear Raymond's family,
thank you for dropping by everytime when he is still hospitalized. Although I'm his fiancee, I feel the same, I tear the same, I fear the same, but I still want to send my heartfelt condolences.

Dear MGC,
thank you for the love extended to the family, during the time of Raymond's hospitalization until now. And for the prayers as well.

Dear bro and sis in the Lord,
thank you for all the prayer support from all churches. It was certainly a blessing to know so many had cared and gave concern to us. I'm sure that is how it kept us strong to go through this together with the Lord.

Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life

Today is not any other day.

Today when I wake up..

I do not have someone to ring me to wake up anymore,
I do not have the closeness of someone sharing the bible with me or singing with me anymore over the phone.
I do not have someone chatting for hours over the internet during working time anymore.
I do not have someone letting me know, he misses my voice
I do not have someone to share with me his problems anymore. (miss this a lot)
I do not have someone so close to share prayer request anymore.
I will not have the blessing to have children with darling Raymond See anymore.
I will not get a chance to marry darling Raymond See anymore.
The plans that we planned over the phone, might be just humanly plans. Through this I came to learn that not everything in life that we plan, is God's plan.
I learn also that God is always loving, always faithful and always real in our life.
I learn to be more prayerful and remain faithful to His word.
His word are so sweet, remembering biblical songs with verses is indeed really helpful during this time.
Steve Green's children song was one of those albums that certainly encoraged me...because it helps me a lot in meditating the word of God..
I still feel the loss of not getting a chance anymore to call, text or meeting you anymore here on earth.
We're just pligrims. Reminds me of pligrim progress. I'll always remember you as my first boyfriend and fiance. I love you Mond..


Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life

The day Mond went home to Father God (6pm 2-2-2010)

speechless right now..
but also at the same time...feels that mond is in a better place.
will take some time to write things..
not now...
coz right now the mind is blank.
just take time...

just keep raymond's family especially in close prayers at this point of time.

Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life

truth & tidings

A sister in christ...send me this article to read. It was indeed an encorangement to read about mary and how she have to continue to do what God wants although others around might think differently about her.

After reading back, I felt the contentment of having so many different elizabeth in my life, spiritual sisters and kept me equiped during times like this. maybe doing it directly through concern and prayers or indirectly through prayers and sending in comments.

It might be those who has gone through the same hardship few years back. It could also be those who are going through it right now. having some family members that is still struggling to survive. This time when i'm in trying to help raymond recover. I realize how important it is to be alive sometimes..knowing that someone is just wanting to live on...but is suffering to suvive...yet many are planning to commit suicide..not knowing their lives are so precious to people who needed it.

In life, we tend to take for granted, we continue living like a nobody's line. We take for granted God's grace for us. We take for granted of the things we eat. We take for granted about others people's care for us. We pin point people's faults instead of respecting their decision or helping them when you know they are in a wrong direction. We do not try to help, instead making more dilusion in whatever matter or step we take.

There are too many illisions in life that would just cause pain and suffering to others, we just do not know. We thought that it'll just be awhile and people will forget and continue on. But we're all wrong. Past experience might give them permanent fears that are not from God. unless they do rely on the same God and leave everything..all their fears and worries to God. To give God all the glory.


http://www.truthandtidings.com/issues/2010/t20100204.php

Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life