We're only 10 months together, until sickness strike. We're only 2 weeks engaged, 3rd week. Raymond had to ask me to remove our ring from his finger. 14th feb 2010 will be our 1st year courting.
He was a person with little words to many, but to me he has so much to share. We share about almost everything under the sun. From work, family and church activities and doctrines. I remembered those times we needed to talk so many hours over the phone. So many smses we send to each other that in your 1st month together, our mobile bill increased and we needed to change our phone plan. (me as a sub-line)
Like my eldest sis say in her blog, Raymond was a man after God's heart. Although he do have his human weaknesses. Having a chance to know him and have a closer relationship with him for 10 months was indeed blessings from God.
Although both me and Raymond do have many ups and downs, tears and sometimes conflicts (conflicting ideas) but we everytime will settle it by sharing it out and praying everynight before we go to bed.
I'm very glad that we had chances to learn the word of God together over the phone. It was indeed encouraging to learn with one another especially when our prayers were answered. (when we pray for something)
There was one time in our 4th month, I began to feel tired talking over the phone, started complaining, not knowing that he is leaving so soon. But Raymond insist that we must at least pray before we slept. Every morning he'll wake me up for prayers. Sometimes he'll share a verse or two before we head off for work. This was how firm he was and it encourages me now.
Our theme verse for our relationship Psalms 118:8
" It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man".
The song that God showed me that he is the one (drawed us closer)
"Burdens are lifted at calvary"
One of his favourite hymns. (he has also love other hymns, this is one of his fav)
"It is well, with my soul"
I'll miss those times we sung hymns and praises over the phone. We grew even more to the extend that we only listen to christian songs and music when we're courting. (we learn from I kissed dating goodbye, Boy meets girl by Joshua Harris). I could say we do not have any pop song favourites, that i could recall now. It was indeed a blessing to know someone who has the same mind for the lord.
You all might have thought about how much I could withstand and be by his side. I had fears as well, when i accompanied him in the hospital.
"prefect love of God just cast out the fear and gave me JOY."
Initially I couldn't take it, I'm full of dissapointment, fearing that he'll leave. I questined, why God?
God gave me the answer,
1 Cor 2:9
"But it is written:
Eyes has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared
for those who love him."
God also gave me the assurance that "nothing is too hard for the Lord". that was how personal the encounter was with our Lord.
As days passes, Raymond's condition weakens, my faith on God's healing hand was still there. I'm still clinging to God's miracle at the same time, thinking that God might take him home.
I do not know why God decided to take Raymond home. Especially when there are so many things that we planned to do together. That I'll just leave to father God. Raymond & I love the Lord. God will and is a faithful God until the end. Now I realised God had been moving in our lives and speaking through His word past 10 months.
Dear Raymond's family,
thank you for dropping by everytime when he is still hospitalized. Although I'm his fiancee, I feel the same, I tear the same, I fear the same, but I still want to send my heartfelt condolences.
Dear MGC,
thank you for the love extended to the family, during the time of Raymond's hospitalization until now. And for the prayers as well.
Dear bro and sis in the Lord,
thank you for all the prayer support from all churches. It was certainly a blessing to know so many had cared and gave concern to us. I'm sure that is how it kept us strong to go through this together with the Lord.
Living Only for Him and Only He knows my life
3 comments:
today is supposed to be your 1st anniversary together, but God has other better plans for you. even in his 26 short years, i believe as you have good memories of him there are many others who was touched by his life as well. indeed, Raymond had lived an inspiring life and his story will spur us on as we persevere in our own race. a blessed CNY to you and your family =)
sorry to hear(read your blog actually) about raymond. may you stay strong~
sister..thx 4 ur encouragement at times wen u r at ur lowest..u r a great testimony..
i thx God for u n for Raymond though i dunno u both in real life.
*hugs*
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